Holy rocky roads, Batman!

In a situation where moods can change by the minute and stress just becomes part of daily life, it seems ridiculous to say "such a stressful day!" but the Sunday of March 4th most definitely was... all 30 of the PCTs came to the Regional Teaching Training Center in Kampong Cham to meet our co-teachers and school directors that we had been matched with for the coming two years.

All of us PCTs were nervous... but wow, if possible our co-teaching counterparts were even more so. I didn't believe this at first until one of our staff pointed out "well, you are the first group ever, and represent if nothing else a free native-speaking English teacher for 2 years in their communities which have a great deal of need." Oh, ok, I guess I can see where the pressure would be on. It was a wild mingling of over 100 people as we went over a days worth of seminar material in various bi-lingual sessions. Everyone met their respective co-teacher and school director and had the awkward moments of ice-breaking. My school director seemed to be very motivated and kind, but didn't speak a bit of English and my co-teacher, Reach Savy, gave me a similar impression for while he spoke pretty solid English, he was very quiet. That's fine, quiet I can deal with, and while overall the day was long we all finished it with a feeling of optimism as we faced our first trip to our permanent sites the next day.
That night in Kampong Cham we went out to get food, and about 25 of the 30 of us filtered in and out of the same restaurant as we shared stories, ideas, apprehensions and dreams for the coming days, months, years.

And then the next morning came in a flash as myself and my three Svay Rieng compatriots were loaded into a cab with our colleagues to start the 2ish hour drive to our provincial capital. The plan had been for us to eat lunch as a group in this larger town and then split off to go to our respective sites, but as we approached Michael's stop we realized that a gap in communication (which shouldn't have surprised or phased us at this point) had us going our separate ways immediately. With a brief look of panic she said goodbye to the three of us, and was then out and off on her adventure... and I was next out at the Provincial Office of Education, Youth, and Sport. Hmmm, this isn't going to work chronologically... and will probably be very boring. So lets try to sum up the whirlwind first view I got of my permanent site.

My new host family: is awesome, surprise surprise in a country full of open people. A younger couple than my current group, the mother (Piep) was extremely warm, kind, and welcoming even by Cambodian standards. My new host father (Tha, who actually seemed to expect me to call him by his name rather than "father", so to each his own) laughs good naturedly all he time, and seems to be a really solid guy. They have two sons around 14 and 18 named Tee-ah and Tee, and while they are quiet I think I can get them to warm up to me eventually, probably by doing something awkwardly clumsy to make them laugh. There is also a grandmother, who is a massive cheerleader for me whenever I attempt Khmer. Also the family has two students from the high school who can't afford housing in the area living with them too. Such generous people (Linda our Medical Officer was right in talking so highly of them), easily one of the best parts of the trip.

My house: is about 100 feet from the high school, and I literally walk out my front door and am in a class room in 2 minutes. This is great on several levels, one of the biggest being I can stay involved in after school activities later and not worry about having to travel at night. My living standards seem to be slightly more middle class than my training house, but only in subtle ways as it is still a traditional stilt house (compared to some of my friends who have tile floors, cereal for breakfast, and indoor plumbing...). My room is still small, which suits me fine considering most of the socialization occurs under the house which is what I have had at training and love love love. Definitely may have been a reason I was placed at the site. The room is clean, with slightly more room for a writing table, and my bed is off the ground which is nice. From experiences in my Dorchester dorm room, I've no doubt I can play with the space to a ridiculous extent. And the view from my window goes to the horizon with rice fields and sprinkled palm trees... when wet season comes this place will take my breath away.

The school: consists of about 1900 students from grades 7-12, and about 85 faculty or so. It is rather big, with to school yards placed next to each other with 7-9 being in one square and 10-12 being in the other. I spent a good bit of time at the school in my several days there. I met the sub-directors, the faculty, and introduced myself to god knows how many classes (I answered questions, sang, got them to sing Khmer songs, drew maps, wrote the names of my family in Amer ca). My co-teacher only teaches grades 11 and 12 which I am kind of so-so about... some of the most motivated students are younger, and many of the 12 graders are just ready to finish school and be done with it. But this is just for the initial three months, and we can work with other/several co-teachers next year. Hmmm, and there is one particular moment that really stuck out...

The morning of my second day I was sitting on the school yard with about 25 other teachers just talking and smiling while my school director was addressing the student body. He was apparently talking about coming to class on time (so I was told) when suddenly I heard the Khmer word for "English teacher".

Crap.

Sure enough, my co-teacher says "ok, he wants you to introduce yourself." So here goes nothing... I then start a slow lonely (though my co-teacher came with me, thank god) walk down this parade ground-esque school yard, flanked on either side by about 1,000 Khmer children, and they suddenly all start to applaud. I hope that the insane and rather hilarious nature of this moment is not lost on anyone, because it certainly wasn't on me. I almost had to stop myself from laughing... the huge blonde man walking down the middle of the cheering masses of Cambodian children. I then gave a little speech over a mega-phone (in Khmer, of course) about my name, where I was from, what I was there to do, etc. I finished off by saying I was very excited to be here and they all laughed and applauded as I shrank down off my podium... Truly an unmatched experience in my life.

So that leads us to The people: Ha, well, just like in many other situations they are so welcoming, grateful, and eager for knowledge that there were times I reeled between excitement and anxiety. My co-teacher and much of the other staff I met were of amazing help to me, taking me to the market, checking on my happiness/transportation issues, and introducing me to so many key people.I met the directors of about a million things from District and Commune Health Centers to the Military Police, Primary School, District Office of Education Youth and Sport... you name it. I got invitations to meals, invitations to teach English, invitations to just sign guest books and tell them what I though of what I had seen. So much generosity of spirit, and yet at the same time there is such a desire to improve their English, their situation, their lives. I have to admit it threatened to overwhelm me at points - am I good enough to give these people what they want? And can anyone really do enough to give them what they deserve?

and last but not least... the Road: is terrible. I mean, I had been told by multiple people that I was one of the two most remote, it was a bad bad road, etc. etc. but... wow, I really wasn't aware of what a Cambodian means when they say a road is "very bad". Thought to be one of the worst in the whole country, when I left my compatriots and headed toward my respective village it was about another 2 hours of intense heat (it was now about 12:30 pm) on a road that alternated between gravel, sand, holes, and rocks the size of my fist. It was sort of long, but mainly it was just horrifically destroyed and the car at times couldn't go more than 10 miles an hour. And of course, we are forbidden to use moto bikes anywhere, so car was the only option. It was almost comically horrible if it hadn't been so hot and if I hadn't felt so utterly isolated and distant from everything ever. It is due to this road that I hit my lowest low since stepping onto the plane at BWI and heading to San Francisco. The "series of rocks" they called a street and the hot, dry rice patties that surrounded me were a physical representation of the distance I felt in leaving even the most recent of comforts I had been given (PC staff, my fellow volunteers, my new Khmer friends and host family) and being thrown into something totally new again. It was really rough, and messed with my mind quite a bit over the three days (it was a 5.5 hour taxi ride to Phnom Penh on Thursday...) but I tried to keep focused. Everyone had challenges, and some might be harder to overcome than my transportation challenges. I really hope, and am starting to believe, that once I live there and make that bubble MY bubble, this site could be amazing for me and the person I am.

Looking back on this weekend, I remember a specific moment when, around 3 o'clock on Wednesday afternoon I was introduction myself to yet another group of about 40 students (with another 20 looking in from the windows) and suddenly my teacher said "ok, are you fine here for an hour? I am very busy and need to go somewhere." and I said "ummmm ok... sure. Where is the teacher for this class?" to which he answered "oh these students are done for the day. They just wanted to stay and meet you."

In a country where school is so often an unavailable luxury because of the time it takes away from supporting your family... and these boys and girls stayed after to listen to me talk about what state I'm from. Blows me away.

Any challenges, second thoughts, doubts I might have are just constantly overwrote with my admiration of these people that I have come to "serve". They deserve me to do everything I can and even then... I know I will learn more than I could ever hope to teach.