From PCT to PCV

Well, as usual there is so much to talk about and I find myself staring at the screen wondering what I should say. One of the interesting things I’ve almost always noticed about when I travel is that I gradually become accustomed to the amazing things around me, and yet my writings home are about small revelations, or personal thoughts, and other random stories. Then, often months later, a random occurrence or question will remind me of a story and when I tell it I inevitably hear “what?? Why haven’t you mentioned that before?” Well, I guess because when you live it, it becomes just… life. I am super profound…

Anyway, here is an even more extreme version of that phenomenon. But one thing I suppose I can point out as being a big deal was the day of April 4th, which is when we were officially sworn in as Peace Corps volunteers. It was really important for the organization, for one. As the first group of volunteers to serve in Cambodia we are kind of poster children for recruitment and such, so there was a videographer from Washington that travels around the world interviewing, taking pictures of, etc volunteers and their sites. So while she was a nice woman it was kind of weird to feel associated with some sort of “glamour” when what we do hardly feels glamorous. That and I at least didn’t join the Peace Corps to be on a pamphlet cover… but in the end, if it raises awareness or the desire to serve those less fortunate, then I’m down for it. Also we were sworn in by the Director of Peace Corps who came all the way from DC. He had served in India many years ago, was a really open and genuine man, and read to us the oath of government service during the ceremony, which was also attended by the U.S. Ambassador (who is amazing, and makes me want to seriously pursue the idea of the State Department later..) and the Cambodian Minister of Education. Apparently the King of Cambodia was invited too but couldn’t attend, which our Country Director Van Nelson said was for the best since it allowed the focus to be on us “where it belonged”.

And just as importantly, the ceremony was attended by our future co-teachers, school directors, our past host families, and our future host families. Not to mention various members of our training staff, returned Peace Corps Volunteers in the area, and who knows who else, but overall a crowd of quite a few people. There were several articles written about particulars in Cambodian newspapers by the Associated Press… you can try a search online, I’ll see if I can a web address for anyone that is interested. In the end it wasn’t terribly long, and it was really both nice and exciting for us to feel like we have already gone through so much and yet are on the cusp of what we truly came here to do.

And with that were so many mixed emotions. For one, we were saying goodbye to our language trainers and all the temporary staff we had worked with for two months. Amazing people that I have mentioned that really gave me drive not only for my service but for what might come after it. We also had to say goodbye to our training host families and all the friends we had met in our villages. That was hard too because these people had opened their “houses and hearts” to us as complete strangers and had done it with smiles, laughs, and a staggering generosity of spirit. The last set of goodbyes were, of course, to each other. Though training village placement had pulled some people obviously closer than others, the majority of us got along so well and had come to enjoy and rely on the company of our fellow volunteers. Reminds me of college with the whole “make friends, get involved in organizations, play sports, make a life here… ok, graduation time, here’s your diploma and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.” But that’s what we signed up to do, and while I know we can still meet for support, ideas, and experience sharing we will really be out diving into the communities which will be amazing in its own right.

Last, but not least, before swear in we were asked if we were ready to reaffirm our commitment to service… so that made us think of course about everything at once. Was our commitment stronger, weaker, the same, how was life really standing now? It was kind of a hard question actually… I have ended up where I am right now for so many reasons, to be asked by our CD Van Nelson and our Training Officer Daulat Karki straight out about the oath and what lay before me was an interesting feeling. While it could have been quite a rambling answer, I ended up answering that while I think my commitment was different now, it was no less strong. I knew I wanted to come here, help as best I can, and hopefully teach half as much as I knew I would be learning from this amazingly different side of life. And I knew that its going to be hard as hell. Some days I’m still not entirely sure why I voluntarily left some of the best family and friends I could ever hope to find. But in meeting the faces and names of those I had you only hear about in books or statistics, my commitment just shifted deep inside me. I mean, yeah, its going to be hard as hell. Some days I’m still not entirely sure why I voluntarily left some of the best family and friends I could ever hope to find. But all plans and well formulated application essays go out the window when you see a child with the deepest brown eyes look at you and give you the most beautiful smile ever. You realize that by some colossal series of ricochets you are here now, and you will do whatever you capable of to give those eyes a different view of the future. So I stepped out of the Cambodian Ministry of Education assembly hall and into that new commitment. Here goes nothing…